đď¸ Advocacy Fatigue: Why Women Are Tired of Fighting for Their Own Care
And how to still speak up even when youâre done explaining
âI just want someone to help me without me having to prove I deserve it.â
That sentence comes up again and again when women talk about healthcare. Whether itâs getting a GP to run a basic blood test, chasing a diagnosis, or being referred to the right service, it often feels like getting care requires a performance of pain, of persuasion, of proving youâre âsick enough.â
This post explores why advocacy has become a skill women are forced to master and what to do when youâve run out of energy to keep pushing.
đ§ 1. Why Women Are Too Quiet and Then Punished For It
From a young age, many women are socialised to:
Be polite, not pushy
Be patient, not persistent
Be grateful, not questioning
So when it comes to healthcare, this often translates to:
Downplaying symptoms
Waiting too long to follow up
Accepting vague answers as the end of the conversation
And when women do push back? Theyâre labelled difficult, emotional, or demanding. Itâs a lose-lose situation that leaves many feeling powerless or worse, ashamed for even asking.
𩺠2. The Emotional Labour of Self-Advocacy
Advocacy isnât just about speaking up. Itâs about navigating systems that werenât built with your lived experience in mind.
For many women, this means:
Keeping a symptom diary so they donât forget key points
Researching possible conditions before appointments
Bringing someone with them to avoid being dismissed
Chasing referrals and test results
Learning the right keywords to say (âpelvic floor dysfunction,â âferritin,â âperimenopauseâ) so theyâre taken seriously
Itâs exhausting. And it shouldnât be this hard.
But it is the reality for many especially Black women, neurodivergent women, those with chronic conditions, or anyone navigating intersecting forms of bias.
đ§ 3. How to Advocate For Yourself Without Burning Out
If youâre facing a health concern and arenât sure how to push for support, here are some practical ways to speak up while protecting your energy:
đ Prepare Before Appointments
Write down 2â3 key points you want to raise
Bring a printout or screenshot of symptoms, test results, or research if helpful
Rehearse your main message: âIâve been experiencing (X) for (Y) weeks and itâs affecting my quality of life. I need further investigation.â
đ Donât Be Afraid to Repeat Yourself
You might need to repeat the same story to different professionals itâs frustrating, but helps build your case
Ask for everything in writing, referrals, results, letters and discharge notes
đĽ Bring a Support Person
A friend or family member can take notes, ask questions, and be a second pair of ears
Youâre allowed to have someone with you in almost all consultations
đ§ Know Your Rights
You can ask for a second opinion
You can change GP practices
You can file a complaint through PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service) if you feel youâve been mistreated
đ Create a Health Folder
Keep key documents, letters, blood test results, and symptom logs in one place digital or paper
This helps you track changes and prepare for each step
đż Final Thought
Advocating for yourself in a healthcare setting shouldnât feel like a full-time job. But when it does, itâs not because youâre âtoo muchâ itâs because the system isnât doing enough.
There is strength in your voice, even when it shakes. There is power in saying, âIâm not okay and I need more than reassurance.â
And if youâre too tired to fight this week? Thatâs okay too. Rest is part of resistance. You donât have to do it alone and you shouldnât have to do it forever.
đŹ Letâs Talk
Have you ever had to fight to be taken seriously in a medical setting? What helped or what made it harder?
Drop a comment or share anonymously. Someone else might be going through the same thing right now.